Dear JH,
I love you. I never thought I could say this. Hell, I never thought I could love another man.
I more than love you. I respect you. I just wish you would grow up. I wish I could change some things right now so that we could be with each other--but time my love, time has to be spent. They say: "If you love something enough, it will come back". I pray that you will come back and that we can meet again in this life. I swear your my soul mate.
When our eyes lock I can see into you, I can see what you don't want others to. I love you. Even the parts you hate about yourself. I love every aspect of you. I am so happy you were born so that I could have met you. I just want to hold you JH. I always have just wanted to hold you and brush you head and whisper--"everything is going to be alright...I love you...and no matter what I will always watch out for you". My love for you...is child like. I tried to lure you into my shadow play of hedonistic desire... I was wrong. I thought that was what most men wanted from me... forgive me John for I know not what I do--at times. You helped me realize that I do not have to do that anymore...that I can have love with a good guy...I just need to be patient, and that I also need to be open to it. I am sorry I tried to deceive you. I really do want love and a meaningful relationship--with you. But, I did not want to scare you off. So, I ended up throwing myself at you--and you got scared off. What a fool I was. I pray every night to bring us together so that we may find love in each one another. I catch my falling eyelash only to blow it off my fingertip, so that I may get a wish--a wish for you. I love you John. I am scared. But I love you. So, I will let you go. I stay here praying that we will come together one day. One day.